Many of us back out of long-term relationships and even marriage due to fear of losing our freedom and identity. However, the thumb rule is to abide by a few guidelines to avoid those clashes that may arise due to high expectations.
Free to be different: It is a fact known to all that no two people are alike. We are born with certain traits which in turn enable us to develop our individual personalities as we grow up. In a long-term relationship, both the partners fail to realise this very fact and thus choose to feel divided. To be able to enjoy each other’s company and revel in differences allow the relationship to grow.
Free to pursue different social activities: Your movie partner may not be your spouse, but your best friend. Pursuing varied social activities is considered perfectly normal among urban couples and the reason is obvious. Allowing your partner to do what he likes goes to show the level of understanding you both share. “After marriage, many of us fail to give time to other relationships. But it is important to bond with your friends and nurture what you have,” says Dr Sharita Shah, psychiatrist.
It is also imperative to get involved in a healthy discussion about what activity interests both the partners. “Sometimes it is important to set some basic guidelines and act according to them,” suggests Dr Shah.
Free to enjoy personal space: Space it out for good! Any marriage or long-term relationship requires a good amount of space to grow and prosper. Remember, we are not talking about creating distances here. You may be wasting too much time calling your spouse to find out what he is up to. But if you look at it seriously, you are putting him under a scanner. Tying him down will only scare him away. Free him and see the results.
Free to be imperfect: Do you get turned off by the sight of stinky socks shoved under the sofa? It is but tough to accept the fact that your spouse has some bad habits. However, none of us are perfect and therefore it is essential to communicate with your partner about each other's flaws. Let go off imperfections for a change and give yourselves a chance to laugh over them.
Free to change: To expect your partner to change is probably too much to ask for. But sometimes couples unknowingly make a mistake by not doing so. It is imperative for both the partners to compromise at some level to change, and for the better. As Dr Shah points out, “Try and make an effort to like certain things that your spouse finds interesting. It is only fair to do this to make your partner smile.”
