Dan Callistein, licensed clinical social worker of Northfield, Ill., says it is possible for men and women to be just friends, but it can be difficult. He adds that both people need to only want friendship, and that doesn`t always happen. So, if there is any sexual attraction between the two people, it will be very hard to be just friends.
The interesting part about this question is that every situation is different and what can certainly work for some may not always work for others.
Expert Opinion from Lisa Shield
Lisa Shield, dating and relationship coach of Los Angeles, CA, says that it is possible for men and women to be just friends and that today, men and women interact all the time as just friends. “One thing to remember is that when one person only wants friendship and the other person wants romance, a friendship isn`t possible. The person who wants romance will keep looking for a way to direct the relationship in that direction,” says Shield.
Is it the Men Who Always Want More?
“It may be cliché to say the guy only wants sex, but it is most likely the case. I`ve seen that time and time again. As soon as they have sex, the relationship is over,” says Callisten. “I would say the majority of the time (especially in high school and college) it is usually the man who wants more,” says Callistein.
Callistein says it’s healthy especially if the individual is single. If the person is married, then any friendship needs to be transparent. “This means the spouse knows who this person is, has met this person, and that they have socialized together,” Callistein advises.
Shield says that it’s normal for a couple if one or both of them have friends of the opposite sex, especially if those friendships were forged before the couple met. But she says it’s not a good idea to make new friends of the opposite sex once you`re in a relationship since it could raise suspicion.
But, Callistein says that most close friendships are same sex, or ‘couple’ friendships, where the two couples hang out. “To be honest, most friends of the opposite sex are more in the acquaintance category, or there`s a working relationship,” Callistein admits.
Benefits of Opposite Sex Friendships
“Many men like the fact that they can discuss deeper and more personal issues with women. Many women like the fact that men are more easy-going and have a lot less drama,” says Shield. She adds that it’s important for women and men to also have same-sex friendships.
What do you all think? Can men just be friends with women? Is it always the men who are at fault for ruining friendships or can women want more too? Let us know what you think on Facebook or Twitter and let the battle of if men and women can just be friends begin!
BDST: 1548 HRS, Sep-16, 2013
SIS/SRS
